The day Broadway took over.

Today, Broadway is becoming more and more prominent in the lives of all.

With the introduction of hit shows such as Glee and Smash, and the rising popularity of the annual Tony award ceremony, musical entertainment is showing its "mainstream" side. Here, I am going to give you some  details of "the day (or new era) that Broadway took over".

1) Smash
(first season aired: 2012)

First, my personal favorite.

Smash is a television drama about what goes on behind the curtains of a *fictional* big Broadway musical.

The show is named "Bombshell" and follows the beautiful/tragic life of Marilyn Monroe.
From casting to pre-production to opening night, the characters of Smash duel for roles, sabotage competitors, and sing out their emotion. But that's not the only singing they do. Of course, since it is a musical they are making, numbers are introduced throughout the season, bringing in a nice mix of covers and original compositions. The best part for me is envisioning how a producer could pick up this idea, and turn the fantasy production into a real-life showstopper. And damn, could it be good.

2) Glee

(first season aired: 2009)

Yes...Glee.

As much as any of us would hate to admit it (meaning I. I hate to admit it), Glee has played a huge role in getting musical-type entertainment into the headlines. For anyone who's not in the loop, I'll explain.

Glee is a television comedy/drama/whatever you want to call it, about a High School Spanish teacher who takes over the dying glee club and renews it. In this show, you have all the basic teenage hormonal drama- packed with love interests, sexuality conflicts, and other issues. But they sing! So what...it may be heavily lip-synced and auto-tuned, and yeah, there's no original compositions, but they are singing. My generation (sigh) has made them so popular, that despite the previously mentioned facts, there's no way anyone could ignore that Glee has brought music and stage performance to a new level of recognition.



3) The Tonys!
(first...tony award given: 1947)

Yes! The Tony award ceremonies! Every Broadway writers/singers/actors/producers/directors dream!

Think of the breast....*ahhem!* I MEAN prestige!

For those of you who live under a rock (also...why are you reading this all-about-theatre blog?) who don't know what the Tony awards are:

The Tony's (named after the Antoinette Perry Award for Excellence in Theatre) is an annual award ceremony -like the Academy awards, Oscars, etc..- designated to recognize the best and brightest of Broadway that year.

And despite being run by a panel of about 700 like-minded judges, they usually make the right decisions.

Most major Broadway shows have either been popular and won a Tony, or won a Tony then became popular.

How about a list inside of a list!? Listception (had to be done)

1)Guys & Dolls                   6)Fiddler on the Roof  11)Evita           16)The Producers

2)My Fair Lady                   7)The Wiz                   12)Cats           17)Hairspray

3)The Music Man        8)A Chorus Line     13)Les Miserables 18)Spring Awakening

4)The Sound of Music         9)Annie                       14)Rent             19)Billy Elliot

5)How to Succeed 10)Sweeney Todd  15)The Lion King  20)The Book of Mormon

                                         
                                                 And this years...21) Once

All of those titles should be recognizable to the reader.

All of those shows won "Best" in their category.

But...anyone notice something? They're all musicals. (durr) And these are some of the winners since 1947. If you're doing the math right now, that's 38 years worth of winners that I did not list.

So, what do we have so far? Well, the list contains about a third of all the winners for Best Musical.

But wait! there's more. You forgot the runners-up for Best Musical! In that category, there are over 182 musicals that placed below the winner. These include (but are not limited to) 

1)West Side Story  6)Grease            11)Into the Woods          16)Wicked

2)Gypsy                  7)Pippin             12)Beauty and the Beast  17)Rock of Ages

3)Oliver!                 8)Chicago          13)Smokey Joe's Cafe     18)American Idiot

4)Hair                     9)Dreamgirls      14)Ragtime                19)Catch Me If You Can

5)Follies                10)Joseph & the ATD  15)Mamma Mia!               20)Sister Act

                             
                          And this years (popular) runner-up...21)Newsies

Holy Balls, did I get off topic.

Well, the main point of this whole article is to prove that musical entertainment is becoming more pronounced in our lives, right?

So tell me- how many of those titles did you recognize?

Maybe more then you'd expect, huh? Well there ya go. That has to be some kind of proof that the Tony's is worming it's way into your brain..like a parasite! Right? Right!?

Well okay, you get what I mean.

The essence of this article: Musical entertainment is all around you! Seek it out! There is a large group of fun, accepting people inching into daily society that are waiting for you to join them (not a cult).

But.. if you are really bent on not getting into our scene- persistently steering away whenever you hear those kids in the Black Box shout out a showtune, and changing channels as soon as you see Neil Patrick Harris doing his opening number- well...we'll probably just find you and force you to drink our fahbulous kool-aid. Whether you want it or not!

At which point you'll be whisked away to this heaven!
 (see you on the other side, Robin)

Phone Rings, Door Chimes, In Comes... Hello? Anybody?

Hey, remember back when there was more than one-and-a-half/two people running this blog? Remember back when people posted stuff here? Ah, memories. But then we get one or six little threatening notes from some dick called Chad about "taking us all out one by one," and all the little sissies run off. I'm sure that was just a joke, you wussies! But fine, I didn't need them, I can run this just fine by myself, and I've still got the Hipster for eye candy. Right, Hipster? ....Hello?

No one wants to work with the self proclaimed "Bitch," and I can't imagine why.

But this seemingly tragic event is all according to plan, because it gives me a nice little segway into what I was planning to write about. But I've forgotten what that was, so instead I'll talk about the Theatre of the Absurd. I make the rules now.
My first experience with Theatre of the Absurd was in Drama class, where I wrote a scene about a piece of space junk crashing into an out-of-used satellite, and the satellite realizing that it's scientists had stopped sending it signals and it was alone, kind of like how I'm all alone, so alone, just me and the friendly voices in my head telling me never to forgive those bad people.

Why do so many people take pictures of themselves curled up in dark rooms?

The awesomeness of my own work aside, I guess I have a bit of mixed feelings about them. The Absurdist shows, that is. I thought you might have gotten confused, because people tell me I get sidetracked easily and butterflies. But anyway, when I think of Surreal Shows, as I often do on these lonely nights, whilst taking pictures of myself curled up in a dark room, my instinctive response is to say that I love them. I want to be the type of person who likes absurd things. But if someone were to ask my opinion, which they never would- which is why I have a blog instead of friends, I would feel the need to think it over, and note that there are both pros and cons blah blah blah, no one came here to listen to me sound like an essay, so lets make a LIST! 
First off- The PROS!

Here represented by Robert Downey Jr. because it's my blog now and you can't stop me.

1. Surrealism gives you the power to explore things you might not be able to otherwise. The more odd and unreal a play is, or the more cerebral the play is, the easier it seems to be to explore a more cerebral topic. (That sounded far less obvious in my head.) Did you ask for examples? I thought I heard someone ask for examples. Well, I'll put some out anyway, and you can take them if you want. (I'm not saying that the following are examples of Theatre of the Absurd, I'm just saying they have some surreal moments/qualities that help capture their deeper topics/thoughts. Jesus. I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.)

What were you expecting a picture of?

 Company:  At first, it seems straightforward, but then you realize that this guy has been having a hell of a lot of Birthdays lately, and that it was actually pretty stupid of you to expect straightforward from a Sondheim musical. Man attempts to sort out his feelings on commitment, watching his crazy married friends, his birthday, and his own relationships. At one point there's a tiny parade. And that's fine.
Death of a Salesman: Mostly realistic, but also delves deeply into memory, and has a few parts purely in the characters head. No, I won't tell you what it's about. Go read it. No I don't care if you don't have a copy. Buy one. Borrow one. Get one from the library. Steal one. Hold a friend hostage until their parents buy you a copy, and maybe a car too, since you have their son and all.
Waiting for Godot: Flat out Theatre of The Absurd. What the fuck is going on.
12. I feel like I could make a clever rhyme using the word "Artsy," but it escapes me. I'll admit it, I'm a sucker for the artistic type stuff. I'm one of those dicks that play pixel flash games that are 87% text and thinks abstract art is really deep. And in my defense, some of those can be really good. And it's great to live in a world where you can say, "I am an energetic piece of space junk" in front of a group of people, and they'll simply accept that. There's so many doors that are open to you.
I got it! Artsy Pie-chartsy!
75. Elephants are Awesome.

CONS

Here represented by some stranger I've never seen before.

1. Less accessible.This might end up being my only point in the cons section, but it's a pretty big point. Surreal works are very hard for some people to like, understand, and preform. For example, On of my favorite movies (as I might have mentioned before) is Adaptation, by Charlie and Donald Kaufman. If you aren't familiar with Charlie Kaufman's other works [Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind], he's well known for being, as the professionals put it, weird as hell. Now, I think he's awesome and love it. But I've had friendly dinner conversations with people who thought his movies were just weird, and 'didn't get them.' As I poured hot soup over their heads, I mused that there are some people in the world who will just never be able to get into Absurdist theatre. It's one thing to watch Oklahoma! and like it. (That was a bad example. No one with any taste actually likes Oklahoma!) But even I had some troubles reading Waiting for Godot. Partly because I lost my place halfway through, and when I tried to remember what was happening so I could find where I was, I realized that nothing was happening ever. Adding on to that, you're probably never going to see a high school preform Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. (Although that'd be pretty bitchin'.) Like I said, it's less accessible. A smaller amount of people would be able to preform it, and there's a smaller market audience for it.
2. ... But Is it Art? Remember how earlier, I commented that I play a lot of Artistic type flash games? No, of course you don't, because you're only skimming through and looking at the pictures. But one problem with those games, is that some people just make a point and click game with shitty graphics, make everyone really agnsty, and then kill everyone off at the end. And as many observant people are probably thinking while reading this, there's a fine, fine line between absurdist art, and just being weird in the hopes people will think you're clever. And it can be hard to tell the difference sometimes. This problem pops up in about every form of media: Is abstract art brilliant, or just splotches on a canvas? Are these pictures of a pair of shoes deep and meaningful, or hipster bullshit? Are free verse poems / forms of art/ or just words/ with funny/ line breaks?

Jason Pollock is a question all in of himself.

I'd like to end this post in a parable.
Once apon a time, there was a cat and a turtle, who lived together in an old lady's house. Now, the turtle was a very obedient turtle, kind and easy to get along with. But he was also a very dull turtle, that never did anything but lie around and eat, and he never offered the lady any excitement or joy. The cat, meanwhile, was very hard to get along with, hissing at people who came too close and knocking over vases when no one was looking. But the old lady decided to befriend this cat anyway, and found to her delight that when she worked hard enough, the cat began to cuddle with her at nights and purr in her ear, giving the old lady great joy. The Surreal play is like this cat.
And then one day, a giant dragon flew down from the sky and ate the old lady, and the cat turned out to be a witch and flew away. And the turtle was alone, all alone, alone like me, with no one but the psychopath in the corner to keep me company.

Tomato soup.

Because I'm A Writer

Here's a phrase I hear a lot: "...which is funny, because you're a writer!"

"...which is funny, because you're a writer," as David Bowie often says to me.

Now, I guess I should be happy that David Bowie (and other people as well) sees me as a writer.  It's a slightly new experience for me to have people acknowledge I have talents/not see me as anything but a slightly needy five year old. But I guess I don't really fit into their expectations of what a writer should be, because the people I am forced to converse with to look like a decent human being are constantly saying things like, "You aren't very observant, which is funny, because your a writer!" or "you aren't very good at understanding people, which is funny, because you're a writer!" or "You aren't very good at focusing/ staying in the moment, which is funny, because you're a writer!"

"You're not a very good writer, which is funny, because you're a writer!"

Now, these are all valid points. I have the observational skills of a brick, and as a brick, I don't have much understanding of how these strange creatures that put me and my brethren on top of each other and build houses out of us work. And bricks don't have very good attention spans, which you may not know if you aren't a brick, and if you are, congratulations on stealing a computer from the humans. Our day to rule shall one day be upon us.

At the very least, it would explain why "Another Brick In the Wall" comes on every fucking time I turn on the radio.

 And I know that the typical view of writers are that they are mildly eccentric and occasionally forget to eat, yet acutely aware of the finer details and life and the thoughts of others, absorbing information for use in their future manuscript.  This is the viewpoint television has given us, and television is never ever wrong ever and should always be trusted. Actually, most writers I know are far, far, far, far more observant than I am, and seem to understand other people better, and while they may not be the dietary challenged Sherlock Holmes some people seen to think we all are, they pretty much fall in line (at least partly) with people's expectations.
And then there's me. I am none of this. And how strange it is! How amusing, that I am not a part of this strange writer world, not one of those strange, otherworldly people, and yet, I PUT WORDS DOWN ON PAPER AND THEY FORM SCRIPTS! What witchcraft is this?
First of all, why do you think this is a good thing to say to me? What part of your brain is thinking, "People find it absolutely hilarious when I point out their shortcomings!" You don't here me going, "You aren't very likable, which is funny, because you're trying to talk to me!"

I don't say that to Bowie, obviously. (Partly because he never tries to talk to me.)

I know these people are probably just- no, honestly, I haven't the slightest idea what they're trying to do, probably because I'm not good at understanding people. But I'm sure they mean well. But I can't help but shake the feeling that they're pointing out my short comings as a writer, or expressing disbelief that I could even be a writer, without the necessary observational skills. As if after they say it, they think I might go, "Well, you caught me! Of course I'm not a writer! I just flail aimlessly on the keyboard, and spellcheck turns it all into words!"

(which I'd need to do if I were a brick.)

 But you know what, people? I don't do that. Well, sometimes I do, but flailing aimlessly is an important part of the writing process. But, I do write. I have written stories, plays, monologues, and mini-musicals. And some people say they're quite good. Because my ability to notice if the walls have been painted a color doesn't affect my ability to hold a pen (or more likely, type on a computer), and my inability to not-space out during Math class doesn't stop me from being able to formulate sentences.
So, I'm sorry I don't fit into your view of what a writer should be.
But I wrote this and you didn't, so I don't really see why I should care.
Fuck you too!

In defense of the showtune

Some may think that Broadway is reserved for gooey showgirls in flashy gowns, and dare I say it..frivolous musicals!
But au contraire. 
Broadway can be home to some of the most meaningful messages (that just so happen to be set to music)
Here's a list of some of the shows I think carry a heavier story.

1. RENT

Summary: Rent tells the story of a group of impoverished young artists and musicians struggling to survive and create in New York in the thriving days of Bohemian Alphabet City, under the shadow of HIV/AIDS.

The Lyrics: "How can you connect in an age where strangers, landlords, lovers, your own blood cells betray?"-Rent 
"There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road. No other way. No day but today."-Life Support

The Message: Most of the musicals I'm going to talk about with you here are going to have pretty straightforward meanings, that being said, the message of Rent is exactly what it sounds like. Coping with the difficulties of real life whether it be external or internal. Most characters, along with struggling in relationships, sexual identity, and finances, are also diagnosed with AIDS. A heavy-hitting virus both in Rent's time-setting and the present. The message (that applies to those not diagnosed with a fatal disease) is that life may be full of shit, but its what you make of it that counts.

2. Ragtime

Summary: Ragtime tells the story of three groups in America- represented by Coalhouse Walker Jr., a Harlem musician; Mother, the matriarch of a white upper-class family in the New Rochelle, NY; and Tateh, a Latvian Jewish immigrant.

The Lyrics: "Give the people a day of peace. A day of pride. A day of justice we have been denied."-Till We Reach That Day
"With the promise of happiness, and the freedom he'll live to know; he'll travel with head held high, just as far as his heart can go" -Wheels of a Dream

The Message: This musical is full of joyous moments and sorrowful ones, but every song is still designed to hit home and get the message across on what the characters are experiencing. Can I reveal the message of this amazing musical without spoiling it? Well I'll try. This musical (set in the early 1900's) is all about the struggle of living in America as any class, and expresses the horror of racial segregation and discrimination. This probably doesn't sound like a musical that would be enjoyable, but for those who like to feel that chill down their spine when they hear a piece of true music.. you wont be sorry if you give it a listen.

3. Hair

Summary: Defined as an "American tribal love-rock musical"..At first glance, this show is about a bunch of hippies insisting on the legalization of pot and the outlaw of violence. But NO. It is much more than that...or at least an expansion of that with deeper meaning (and sweet brass & bass)

The Lyrics: "We starve-look at one another; short of breath. Walking proudly in our winter coats, wearing smells from laboratories; facing a dying nation of moving paper fantasy. Listening for the new told lies with supreme visions of lonely tunes."- Flesh Failures(Let the Sunshine In)

The Message: This show never fails to make my heart feel like lead. Whether it be on the screen or on the stage, Hair has a heavy message to provide- War is an unbelievable mistake man has made. Unfortunately, this concept can be applied to every date from the 60's (when this was written) to now. And, I can guarantee that while walking out of the theater after a production of Hair, you will want to punch war straight in the face!
(whilst shouting rock opera, perhaps?)

I highly recommend each one of these musicals. Thanks for reading. (Part 2 to come)
*lyrics provided by allmusicals.com*

Ten Reasons You Should Only Date Drama Kids

The only thing missing from this list is my phone number. Winky-face and whatever it is the cool kids are doing these days.


1. We're all super hot.

(His first mistake was putting this picture where I could reach it.)

 No, seriously, think about it. When's the last time you went to a play, and saw someone unattractive on stage? Never, that's when. Drama kids were just born to be looked at. And you may be thinking, “Oh, yeah, sure, but what about the Techies and the people offstage? Surely they can't all be attractive.” Well, don't be stupid. The people offstage need  to be (and are, ow ow) attractive to keep the morale of the actors up. (And really, how can you not be sexy while lifting set-pieces and pulling heavy levers? Aw yeah, baby, raise that drop.)

2. Drama relationships last statistically longer than average High School relationships. Okay, that hasn't been scientifically proven, but it feels true. It last longer then those week-long relationships you see on Facebook, anyway, so there's that. We're better than your stupid Facebook friends.

 

3. We can memorize page long Shakespeare monologues. We can recite lines from Medea while hundreds of people are staring us down. We can probably remember your birthday. (Note- Don't expect this from Drama writers. We're writers, and therefore charmingly “out-of-it.”) (I say writers, I mean me, I'm just generalizing to make myself look better.)

  4. Don't like us? That's okay, we can just be someone else!

With the magic of acting, you could be dating Neil Patrick Harris, Audrey Hepburn, Robert Downy Jr., David Bowie, and if you want to date someone else, you're really just being greedy! Dating Drama kids is like having the Ditto Pokemon- you can be dating ANYONE. (Well, obviously, you aren't dating the Pokemon. Well, I hope not, you SICK FREAK.)

5. Even the most annoying Drama Kid is better than an annoying Average High Schooler. For example, that asshole Chad who keeps yelling in the middle of Bio about sex and drugs? He'd never be in a Theatre class. Let's face it, drama kids are just better then everyone else. 

6. All of us are really humble and not at all arrogant. 

 7.We'll give you piggy back rides.

(I reflexively hate these people, and the fact that I have no basis for my hate only makes me hate them more.)

How often do you get piggy back rides? Not enough, right? Well, if you date a Drama Kid, your piggy-backless days are OVER. I don't know why, but Black Boxes are fuming with piggy-back antics. It doesn't even attract weird looks or anything, it's just a thing that happens. And it will happen for you, because anyone who doesn't give their significant other piggy-back rides when requested is either lacking upper-body strength or is a communist. (So date someone strong.)

8.If you don't, we'll write an emotional monologue about our soul wrenching feelings for you. It'll happen, just saying. Meanwhile, if you do, we'll write a happy two character scene leading up to a song, about how happy and in love we are! Yay! (Until our relationship starts having problems, in which case we're back in emotional land, but GOD CAN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPY IN THE MOMENT.)

9.All of us are at least slightly crazy. Fun crazy, that is. Not “Oh god he's put the hamster in the microwave again” crazy, just “Is he riding around on his friend's shoulders while singing 'I Can Show You The World?'” crazy. So, you know, they'll keep things interesting. Who wants to be with a normal person, anyway? They're boring as hell. I heard they talk things like 'taxes' and 'politics.' Wild, man.

 10.Drama kids are like Heroin.

I was going to have a funny picture of a junkie here, but it turns out that's not funny at all so here's a kitten instead.

You try them once, and suddenly, nothing else is good enough, and every other high-school seems inferior, and you need more and more, and you think you can quit anytime but you can't and you try to get buy on some quick hard roadside monologues, but that doesn't even get you buzzed anymore and you end up with a tube in your arm attached to a kid singing show-tunes. Or something like that. Anyway, once you have drama kids, nothing else will do. (I think that's what I was trying to say. Hey, can you hook me up with Playbill, man?)

Why Julliard needs to get real.

"I can tell you there is no Musical Theater program at Juilliard. The administration considers it to be a lower form of art, not suitable for the school's main curriculum." 


That was written by a Juilliard graduate.

And I can't believe what I'm hearing.

My hearing is selective. Showtunes-only

Are those at Julliard refusing to see the more popular source of live musical entertainment? (excluding informal-type concerts)((ex: KISS, Aerosmith,...Nickleback)) Let me lay down a representation of what I believe a pie chart between the two would look like.

As shown in this playbill-colored pac...I mean pie chart.

Now of course, this is just what my vision looks like. And I think others could relate. Who here thinks that a  NY Philharmonic tour of the US would bank more than every on-Broadway showing plus tour of Newsies or Wicked? You see, I chose popular formal-style performers because I'm about to lay some fact on you.

Year	Gross*	Attendance (by millions)*	Playing Weeks**
Most recent year 2011	$1.081 billion	12.13	1,483
One year ago 2010	$1.037 billion	12.11	1,550
Two years ago 2009	$1.004 billion	11.88	1,440
Three years ago 2008	$986 million	12.85	1,653
10 years ago 2001	$644 million	11.39	1,464

Those are the statistics for Broadway sales as a whole.
Last year, the total approximate earnings was 1.081 billion dollars of money! *Arthur reference*

If Julliard thinks that that kind of money comes from a "lower form of art" than them... well they need to Man Up.

Here's their mission statement:
"The mission of The Juilliard School is to provide the highest caliber of artistic education for gifted musicians, dancers, and actors from around the world, so that they may achieve their fullest potential as artists, leaders, and global citizens."

To me, that sounds like they're prepping their students to be put straight into some of the best musicals that can be offered. Now, why wouldn't Julliard just acknowledge that fact and offer a musical theatre class to provide quality actors and musicians for a clearly growing art form? I still don't know. 

But hopefully they change their mind before I can reject their poor excuse for a musical/entertainment school.

Please.

And remember, Juilliard...

Its not just for gays anymore.

Auditions Are Like Sex.

 ... Your first time is probably going to suck.
Mine did.
My first audition, get your head out of the gutter.(The gutter in which I placed it.)

And do it quickly, Tim Curry's down there.

First of all, let me give you a bit of a background on me, partly because it will help in my narrative and partly because everyone else did it and I like conforming.
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be three things in life: an author, an actor, and a pirate. I was a pretentious, annoying youth, and more than anything else, I wanted attention. Constantly. Writing was one way to get it- it wasn't normally something adults expected kids to do, so I did it constantly and shoved it in peoples faces. I liked doing it, I guess, but it was mostly so people would go, "Oh, look at that amazing girl, she wrote a short story, lets all shower her with praise!" I didn't start being passionate about writing until I discovered scriptwriting (which is a story for another day, which I'm probably never going to write about, so suck it.) Acting fell in the same vein: it was basically an excuse to have a bunch of people stare at you, and I loved it. I did some crappy elementary school plays (and felt smugly superior than everyone else because I knew my lines and they didn't), but mainly, I wanted to be in movies, so I could be famous.
Then middle school and early high school happened, and those years sucked for basically everyone so I don't need to elaborate, but it ended up strengthening my desire, because coming out of it, I wanted nothing more than to be loved by millions of people, and have people want to be around me. So I took theatre.
 I first auditioned for something during my Sophomore year of high school, and Christ, was I scared. I had no idea what to expect, all I had was the knowledge that soon, I would be judged, and the fate of my new-found theatre life depended on their judgements. And that wasn't the only thing freaking me out: My brother was already a big star, who had a leading role in the earlier musical, so it was absolutely great having that to live up to. Adding to it, I worshiped all of the people in the Theatre Company, and was mildly terrified of all of them. But with a bit of bravery and some friendly forcing from my brother, I went to the workshop to see what the show would be (doodle-doo, deedle-dee).

The play my school was doing was Julius Caesar.

Well, FUCK. That's welcoming! "Welcome to your first audition, here's some SHAKESPEARE," the teacher seemed to say, in the steely look in his eye and the way he towered over me. (Of course, almost everyone towers over me, since I'm about 5 foot 4 and everyone I know is freakishly tall. But he is the toweringest.) Basically, for the audition, we prepared one of the monologues from the packet we were given (they didn't have to be memorized, just prepared, so I made a punch of random annotations and notes on how to read it and then disregarded them the moment I actually read it), walked across the suddenly-gigantic Black Box to the table where the drama teacher and his associates were seated, and read the monologue you prepared.
Alone.
Except for three teachers, who sit there and watch you. Judging.

I guess I could have found a picture of an actual audition ,but fuck it. Unrelated: Have you seen the Star Wars documentary, when they're talking about casting the people, and the guy who played C3PO is being all weird and saying that the picture of C3PO "just called out to him?" I love that.

Of course, I know now that these three teachers are actually quite charming people, and I shouldn't be frightened of them unless I'm a troublemaker or a complete moron, which I'm arguably not. But at the time, these were three teachers that I didn't really know too well (and therefore assumed didn't like me because I was sort of stupid that way), who currently had complete control over how my life was going to unfold. I was fucking terrified, of them and auditioning.
My brilliant strategy, after making a few offhand jokes to pretend I'm not scared at all, of course not, who me, was to stare at a random point at the wall intensely (obviously not because I was scared, no, that would be silly, I just really like walls, walls are the best) and quickly mumble out the monologue, and then run away.
I didn't make call-backs, surprising no one.
 But on a surprising note, the next day during my drama class, the teacher approached me and asked me if he wanted his feedback on my audition (knowing full well I was way too much of a coward to ask him anything). He told me that I was very quiet, and they couldn't hear half of it- but he understood that I was terrified, and suspected that given the chance, I could do better. So I ended up in a chorus role (with one line!) due to my teachers believe that, despite my awful audition, I had potential.
My Drama teacher is awesome. Did I mention that? Go back and re-read this entire post with that knowledge, I'll wait.

Now, looking back and being able to see how truly horrible that audition was, I'm not sure why he felt the need to give me a chance. Maybe he was basing it off my classwork. Maybe he assumed that since my brother was fantastic, I might take after him at least a little. Maybe he has magical powers that let him see the future. Because I did keep auditioning. I got a few chorus roles in the mini-musicals later in the year, and the next year, I made it into the elite group for writers and got two featured roles in the mini-musicals. And I can confidently say, that without theatre, I wouldn't have survived high school. (I might speak too soon, though.)
So yeah, my first audition sucked, and I was terrified, and I felt a bit like shit when I didn't make callbacks, even though I didn't think I was going too anyway. (Hope is a bitch.) And maybe you feel that way too.
But think of sex. (That's my advice for a lot of things.) Yeah, the first time is probably going to suck, and you might be a little terrified, but you need to get it over with so that you can start slutting it up at local bars.

Get over this...

To get to this.*

 If you're scared, don't let that stop you from auditioning.
If your first audition sucked, don't let that stop you from auditioning again.
And if you have to read a Shakespeare monologue, it helps to cry under your bed in the fetal position. Don't worry, no one else understands it either, we're all just faking it.

*This is a lie. Neither relationships or auditioning will ever be like this. it will always be the first one. you just get used to it.

And suddenly, the fourth appeared.

I dislike introductions.

Or, at least, poorly executed ones.

I've often pondered available alternatives to the staleness of "Hi, I'm [some ineloquent moniker, like Chad... apologies to all named Chad, you unfortunate bastards], I like puppies and I have two kids!"
Not that Chad's life isn't potentially intriguing; I'm sure he'd be able to fascinate at parties with the best of them. But first impressions, though often fleeting in the duration of their occurrence, are of the utmost importance in many social situations (galas and benefits, business meetings, fated encounters at IKEA... is that just me? Oops), and our dear friend Chad would not be able to cut it in certain company.
So, dear reader, that begs the question: how shall I reveal myself to you?
...Clearly through the dissection of rudimentary social conventions. Moving on.

I, the songstress. I would dearly hope you can draw from that exactly what I do. Singing is my entire being. And not the simple (or simply ridiculous) fare that issues from the speakers of many of my generation (though that may be "music", it is anything but musical), but the classics, whether they be legitimate classical or poignant enough in lyric and delivery to earn the label "classic".

I hope you know who this is. This man is bloody brilliant. The fact of whether or not you are inclined to agree, you'll find, is one I'm not so inclined to care about.

 

...As much as I'd love to continue fangirling over Monsieur Simon, that is rather not the point. Anyway. You'll find that I differ from my cohorts in one respect: I did not choose theater when blazing my path through public education. This is not to say I lack an interest; in fact, I find theater and all its particulars endlessly fascinating (especially those of musicals; I'm a bit of a nutcase when it comes to musicals. Seriously. Don't even mess). But, being of the mind that I wanted my voice specifically to take me places in life, I selected choir.

...To be perfectly frank, it saved my life.

No, not in a way that would have involved me taking drastic action where my vitality was concerned. That situation's presence is not mandatory for a life to be saved. Choir gave me a person to be, a group of people to love and lead, and a perspective on my existence that I could not have gained anywhere else, and for that, I am indebted.

So I suppose that gives you some small taste of who I am, and if it doesn't, I'm playing the "I'm too fatigued to continue into further detail" card.

Yeah, fool. You just got told by Yoda. Pretty sure Obi-Wan shares his sentiments, too.  

I'm predicting a sharp increase in either my snarkiness or my hyperactivity in the next few posts, so stay tuned. It'll certainly be something entertaining.

This'll Do for an Intro

I haven't read any of my fellow blogger's posts because I'm kind of a bitch, I guess. Usually I have to be sleep-deprived for that to happen, but today just seems to be a special, glorious day.

I'm deprived of ideas so let me go read those posts and get back to you. Frankly I'm unsure of what's appropriate and what's inappropriate to post on the internet. (Let the joke just sink in...)

I'm not really sure how to find pictures I want on Wikimedia Commons yet so here's the picture of the day to break the tension.

Okay, apparently I just need to give some kind of blurb about who I am and how I got backstage.

Now the great question which every human being grapples with every day: Who am I?

I'm the fucking writer.

Writers are known for being notoriously confident. This man, for example, wrote a whole essay about why we should be as confident as him. Or something. I never read it.

I've been interested in writing my whole damn life. Ever since I was a young'un I wrote tedious works of prose to imitate the books I read and to wow my family.

For the record: writing doesn't grab the attention of your family. Running into a television stand and fracturing your skull does.

I never was any good with prose so I moved on to poetry. I was such a good fourth grade poet that they had me read the poem in front of the school. Which totally didn't get me beaten up. Not in Los Angeles. That would be silly.

Also in Los Angeles I got into improv. That was my first exposure to theatre, and it was awesome. You just went up onstage, said what you thought was funny, and people laughed. It was a major confidence boost, but like soccer and piano, I gave up my hobby when I inevitably moved to a new state.

That state was Kansas. And instead of just living there for a year like most places, I actually spent three or four years in a consistent environment. I played video games, I created lego adventures, and I got exposed to Red vs. Blue.

This was how I wanted to write. It was pure story and humor. I didn't have to go around explaining to people what was going on because in a video you could just see what was happening. So I started writing scripts. I never got around to filming them, but they were there and they were okay. I moved to Phoenix and spent a middle school experience losing my sense of value and doing some writing because that was funny and none of my friends were.

After two years of struggle I finally made it to high school and the glorious Black Box.

That's me on the right. In the Black Box. Being as awesome as the building.

I took theatre because I had the choice between that, band, and choir, and since I have a poor singing voice,  failed my lunchtime bandwork in elementary school for not practicing, and got laughs in fourth grade improv I chose theatre.

And I have never looked back.

Theatre's been the single most rewarding experience of my life: I gained confidence, an identity, and expanded my writing and have had it appreciated by my peers and adults.

Enjoy this moment, adults, it's the only time I'll imply that the general generation that considered this a legitimate threat superior to me in any way.

Yeah, that all wasn't instantaneous. It's taken me three years to get there, but for senior year I think I'm gonna enjoy that full force.

We'll see.

Backstage Bitch of the Day: The school year, and therefore theatre. doesn't start for another two months.

An introduction...to Me, and why you should be in theatre (but mostly Me)

This...

Hello, world!

is me.

Well..okay, its not. But this...

Why hello there

is also not me.

You get the point... This is who I want to be. Everybody has a dream. I just have the one that entails being cast as Kevin Price in an off-broadway tour of the Book of Mormon. It's not too much to ask. I would even be okay with playing Jesus in Godspell (chances are lower, since anyone with a voice can fit his range)

But anyways...

I also think that Bialystock from The Producers would be a great role that could give me a chance to show my over-acting side!

Enough with the role-playing fantasies *badum tss*

I'd like to first tell you how I became "The Hipster"

Really.. Id like to tell you, since I don't know either. Maybe it's because I have prescription hipster glasses. Maybe it's because of my daring and unique hairstyles. I do not know. Ask the bitch. (Next post: why our nicknames don't really relate to us).

A different and more related-to-this-blog post:

I came into the drama program at Insert school name here (Foiled again, molesters!) very unsure of myself. I did not want to sing in front of people and fabulous teachers that I did not know, and I definitely did not want to dry-read a script (especially since I had never touched a monologue in my life)((I didn't even know what a monologue was)), in fear of embarrassing myself, and being estranged from the Beautiful Black Box forever. I was afraid of writing down my name on the audition slip (and should I be okay with being put in the tech crowd if I don't get a role?)

Its quiet back here..*sigh*

Well Im glad I did.

If it wasn't for that tryout, I wouldn't have gotten the lead role that I did.. which probably would have led to not trying out for future productions, and my life would be going a different direction. I wouldn't be paying attention to the arts, and I would not be going into the Drama class next year in the hopes that I could establish myself as a serious contender and improve my acting ability.

Oh god, that sounded like an advertisement. No more with that.

tl;dr I don't regret that audition

But to finish off that cleverly placed ad, I recommend that everyone take their schools theatre audition slip, write down their name, and list whether they'd be okay with being cast into tech (If there wasn't tech, shows couldn't exist).

After that you'll be ready for your (very liberal ((and cool)) school's production of RENT.

Have fun. Now, make like Benny and leave.

but don't stop coming back