Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Because I'm A Writer

Here's a phrase I hear a lot: "...which is funny, because you're a writer!"
"...which is funny, because you're a writer," as David Bowie often says to me.
Now, I guess I should be happy that David Bowie (and other people as well) sees me as a writer.  It's a slightly new experience for me to have people acknowledge I have talents/not see me as anything but a slightly needy five year old. But I guess I don't really fit into their expectations of what a writer should be, because the people I am forced to converse with to look like a decent human being are constantly saying things like, "You aren't very observant, which is funny, because your a writer!" or "you aren't very good at understanding people, which is funny, because you're a writer!" or "You aren't very good at focusing/ staying in the moment, which is funny, because you're a writer!"
"You're not a very good writer, which is funny, because you're a writer!"
Now, these are all valid points. I have the observational skills of a brick, and as a brick, I don't have much understanding of how these strange creatures that put me and my brethren on top of each other and build houses out of us work. And bricks don't have very good attention spans, which you may not know if you aren't a brick, and if you are, congratulations on stealing a computer from the humans. Our day to rule shall one day be upon us.
At the very least, it would explain why "Another Brick In the Wall" comes on every fucking time I turn on the radio.
 And I know that the typical view of writers are that they are mildly eccentric and occasionally forget to eat, yet acutely aware of the finer details and life and the thoughts of others, absorbing information for use in their future manuscript.  This is the viewpoint television has given us, and television is never ever wrong ever and should always be trusted. Actually, most writers I know are far, far, far, far more observant than I am, and seem to understand other people better, and while they may not be the dietary challenged Sherlock Holmes some people seen to think we all are, they pretty much fall in line (at least partly) with people's expectations.
And then there's me. I am none of this. And how strange it is! How amusing, that I am not a part of this strange writer world, not one of those strange, otherworldly people, and yet, I PUT WORDS DOWN ON PAPER AND THEY FORM SCRIPTS! What witchcraft is this?
First of all, why do you think this is a good thing to say to me? What part of your brain is thinking, "People find it absolutely hilarious when I point out their shortcomings!" You don't here me going, "You aren't very likable, which is funny, because you're trying to talk to me!"
I don't say that to Bowie, obviously. (Partly because he never tries to talk to me.)
I know these people are probably just- no, honestly, I haven't the slightest idea what they're trying to do, probably because I'm not good at understanding people. But I'm sure they mean well. But I can't help but shake the feeling that they're pointing out my short comings as a writer, or expressing disbelief that I could even be a writer, without the necessary observational skills. As if after they say it, they think I might go, "Well, you caught me! Of course I'm not a writer! I just flail aimlessly on the keyboard, and spellcheck turns it all into words!"
(which I'd need to do if I were a brick.)
 But you know what, people? I don't do that. Well, sometimes I do, but flailing aimlessly is an important part of the writing process. But, I do write. I have written stories, plays, monologues, and mini-musicals. And some people say they're quite good. Because my ability to notice if the walls have been painted a color doesn't affect my ability to hold a pen (or more likely, type on a computer), and my inability to not-space out during Math class doesn't stop me from being able to formulate sentences.
So, I'm sorry I don't fit into your view of what a writer should be.
But I wrote this and you didn't, so I don't really see why I should care.
Fuck you too!

No comments:

Post a Comment